- 28 December, 2022
You are probably sitting in front of the screen with a heavy feeling in your stomach and a heaviness in your heart. If this is the case, welcome to the club. You have gained membership to the exclusive club of heartbreak, where many have been at some point in their lives.
For reasons beyond your control, you’ve had your heart broken. It can affect all people and it seems to overlook no one. This applies both to those in a relationship and those who are single (or are somewhere in between).
Most people have found themselves where you are now, and it is certainly not a place for the faint of heart. Getting up in the morning and trying to get through the day can feel oh-so difficult. It also doesn’t take much to bring you to tears, irritation, and frustration.
You are disappointed and mourning the loss of another person’s love. That is completely natural. You probably had some expectations of your partner, which now feel like a distant dream. It was not necessarily intended that your partner broke your heart. However, their actions, or lack thereof can convey a clear message that words cannot convey.
By making yourself available to another person’s love, you have also made yourself vulnerable to the lack of it. It takes a lot of courage to fall in love. It requires that we have enough patience and empathy to be able to lower our guard and give others the opportunity to hurt you. It is also part of the exchange of trust that we call love.
Now you are in a situation where one of you has pulled the plug and you are left with a sea of emotions. But you’ve been willing to take a chance, and you should pat yourself on the back with pride. In the meantime, however, you must try to get back on your feet and find yourself again.
In order to move forward in the process of acceptance, I have three pieces of advice for you who want to get out on the other side of heartbreak.
1. Remember that your current feelings are temporary
When you wake up in the morning and don’t want to get out of bed, remember that with every second that passes, the more distance you get from the experience.
The more clarity you have, the easier it will be for you to assess your future steps, rather than making your decisions based on anxiety and deprivation.
2. Know your values
Whether or not you can get your heart broken depends on different circumstances, but you have control over who you give permission to do it. If your partner returns at a later point, you can then assess what the circumstances were during your breakup.
In addition, you must make up for yourself whether it is in line with your values about who you are and what kind of person you would like to be with.
3. Focus on small step at a time
Do the things that you know make you happy and focus on just being. You should not try to fix anything at this moment, but try to stay in the feelings. The more you can be in the experience and accept that these are your circumstances for now, the easier it will be for you to get through the experience.